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comes
in. I would like to give my children a
‘spiritual’ history of their family. One thing I regret not knowing
is more of Pat and Gil’s (her husband Mike’s parents) spiritual
journeys in their own words.
Through
their actions we know they were people of faith, but I can’t tell my
children how they came to that, or what they learned on their spiritual
journeys. Basically I’m asking for you to write out your ‘spiritual
life story.’ It can be as
long or short as you want it to be and as detailed as you want it to be.
I would just like for my children to be able to see in writing what God
has done in the life of their family.”
Wow,
my “spiritual life story.” Her
request hit me hard. For you see there have been numerous times that
after we minister to others with our music, I have visited with some of
the folks and that is what we talk about. How important has Jesus been
in your life?
I
wish I had each of their stories in writing. So many of their stories
and testimonies to their faith touch so deeply in my heart.
I have often told each of them they need to write their stories
down and share their stories with others. After all, isn’t that what
the Disciples did when they wrote about our Lord?
Yes, and now here was God telling me through my daughter to
practice what I preach! Wow.
Now
my daughter was nice enough to include in her request a “spiritual outline” to help me. If you know me, God gave me the gift of gab, not writing. So
Michelle’s request was not quite accurate when she said a little time.
For me to write something takes a lot of time.
Now the following is her “spiritual outline.”
How
did you come to know Christ as your Savior? Was it in childhood, teen
years, or as an adult?
What
would you consider the peaks and valleys of your personal journey?
How/Where
have you seen God working in your life?
What
lessons have you learned on your journey that you would want us to know?
Do
you have a particular verse that is especially meaningful to you?
Churches
you have attended.
Significant
people who have influenced your journey.
First
and foremost I must thank a mother who wanted the best for her kids. She
raised us in a church, Walnut Street Baptist Church in Louisville, KY.
Mom
had us involved in every program and activity. If the doors were open,
we were there. It did not matter--rain, snow, hot, cold--we were there.
Sundays, Wednesdays and any other day something was going on, Mom and us
kids would load into the orange color station wagon and drive 20 plus
miles to church.
Now on special occasions, Dad would join us – Christmas and
Easter.
But most of the time he would be in his chair reading the paper
or watching Bonanza on Wednesdays we arrived home.
Now
my brothers and sisters and I can prove that we were always there. There
are pictures of us with all the pins that the church gave each year for
perfect attendance.
I had
12 years of perfect attendance.
Now
I realize today that because of her commitment, she helped to build a
foundation in our service to our Lord.
Each one of my brothers and sisters is an active church member
today.
As
a child, I really enjoyed going to church.
I did not know then but do now that I was surrounded by some of
God’s best--Sunday school teachers who beamed of God’s Love; Mr.
Ronald Wells, our minister of music and his family who was instrumental
in shaping my life in my love for music; and our Pastor Dr. Pettigrew,
and his wife.
I was sure that this man knew God on a one-on-one basis and that
he would meet with him in his office each week.
His wife always had a hug for me and made me feel that I belonged
there.
Her hugs would become very important as I became a youth.
To
this day, I can remember the Sunday that I joined the church and
accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior.
I had talked to Dr. Pettigrew about it, I had talked to Mom about
it, and I had talked to God about it. It was good that I did because
when it was time for me to step out in the isle in front of all of those
people, I was scared and frozen. But then God took me by the hand and
led me to the front of the church.
The following Sunday I was baptized.
I was proud to be a child of God.
As
I began my journey as a youth, so many things began to change.
I became aware that we did not dress as well as the other kids,
that the car we drove was an old station wagon, that money in our family
was very tight.
My dad worked two jobs to keep us clothed and fed. I also became
very aware during my junior high years that not all people knew God and
that some found pleasure in hurting other people.
My
youth was a very difficult transition for me going from feeling so very
loved and accepted to being picked on from time to time for being a
Church Boy at school.
I remember I wore my perfect attendance pins only once for show
and tell at school.
I walked in that day feeling proud.
I left that day never wanting to go back. It is only now as I
write this that I realize why my mother had a difficult time each day
getting me out of bed to go to school. I hated school but I still looked
forward to going to church.
That too would change.
As
I mentioned, I loved music.
I was playing professionally at the age of 15.
I played alto saxophone in the school band and in a rock and roll
band. I
loved the Beatles and their music. Of course I wanted to look and be
like them.
So I began letting my hair grow.
One
Wednesday evening, I remember entering the church through the side doors
and as I did, my Sunday School teacher was standing there.
He stopped me and asked me, “Why do you come to church?”
I told him to learn more about Jesus Christ. He responded,
“Well, the way you look, you are nothing but a disgrace to this
church.”
I know he said something after that but I don’t remember
what it was.
Wow
a disgrace to God!
How did that happen?
Was it just because I let my hair grow a little? Up until that
evening, I knew where I wanted to be in life--serving God in a church.
But on that evening, God had told me through one of his faithful
servants that he did not want me.
I was crushed.
After
that evening I began pushing away from church. I did everything I could
not to go.
My mother knew something was wrong.
I had gone from being excited about being in church to wanting
little to do with it.
But I would not talk to her about it.
In fact, it was just two years ago she asked me again what
happened and I finally told her.
She said I wish you had talked to me about it.
I now wish I had too.
During
my high school years, music would play an even more important role in my
life. It was the only place that I felt accepted.
Upon graduating from high school (a year later than I should
have), I decided that I wanted to be a DJ.
Everyone I knew in the radio business made more money than us
musicians. This decision began my journey into the world of
broadcasting, and I am still there today.
When
I was 20, I married an absolutely great and most loving woman of God who
was Methodist.
She was determined to raise our kids in a church and wanted them
to have a relationship with God.
I remember many times sitting in my chair reading the paper as
they would go out the door on Sundays or seeing them come in the doors
on Wednesday evenings as I sat and watched TV.
On special occasions and Christmas and Easter, I would go with
them.
But church was not for me since I knew that each time I attended,
everyone was judging me.
Now
because of my wife and kids, I did meet some wonderful church people.
Dr. Howard Olds was our pastor for a number of years. At one
point, my wife and I turned to him for counseling.
But, the only thing I wanted from his counseling was to prove to
her I was right and she was wrong.
Dr.
Olds is still delivering God’s word today.
If God gives us a home in heaven based on the work we do here on
earth, this man has a mansion.
Susan
and I were married for 24 years. During those years, I did not allow
myself to find a church home. I attended Crestwood Methodist from time
to time, but I never allowed it to become my home.
Looking
back I can see God kept trying to reach me through other wonderful
people at Crestwood.
But, I had put up my walls and they would stay up.
I had experienced the church and was content that I could worship
God from the comfort of my chair at home.
After all, I had been well taught; I knew the Bible from my
childhood and no one could hurt me in my own home.
Boy, was I wrong.
The devil will seek you out!
The
last few years of my marriage with Susan had become filled with anger,
and we had stopped communicating.
Men, if you want a way to stop a marriage, hold onto your anger
and stop talking - - that will do it.
It will destroy it and more than likely you.
After
my marriage had fallen apart, the last person I was looking for was God.
But he was still looking for me.
God
placed another one of his most wonderful people on this earth in my life
- Jan.
Jan
and I worked together, and she, too, had gone through a divorce.
We spent hours up on hours talking about our lives, our kids,
parents, and why neither of us felt that we had the right to be happy.
We talked about our religious experiences and the roll that
“church” played in our lives. After many, many talks, we knew we
needed to find a church and to begin looking for God again.
For
most of her life, Jan attended Summit Heights United Methodist Church,
so I agreed to go with her.
Now this is the church that she had been in and her ex husband
had attended. I knew I was not going to receive a warm welcome.
I was wrong.
When
I came up the steps that first Sunday, Stella Winters was there to meet
me and make me feel welcome and she did just that. I am sure God has her
welcoming people to heaven.
She
was not the only one as many of the people inside the church went out of
their way that day to make me feel welcome.
When I walked out the doors of the church that day, I knew that I
had found a place that accepted me for who I was--a man who had failed
God and his family.
That
day I began actively looking and wanting a relationship with God and
being of service to him.
I joined the church, and Jan and I were married there.
We both became active in our service and gifts to God.
Then
one day a friend invited us to attend an Emmaus Walk. Our
radar went off; we wanted to serve God, but we did not want to join a
cult.
Now
I had been invited to attend an Emmaus walk while at Crestwood.
Every time anyone invited me, I would ask him to tell me more
about it. They would each say that all the things that take place there
are a secret.
Well great, then keep it a secret because that’s not for me. I
have had my share of being hurt by church people.
However,
Jan was not ready to say no. She wanted to know more about it.
She asked some of our friends that had been on a walk.
They explained that if you told someone what is inside a gift
before you opened it, it takes away from the gift. They also assured us
that it was not a cult.
Jan
went first.
I know I drove her crazy asking all the questions about her walk,
and she handled me with God loving care.
She knew it would not take much for me to back out.
Well
I went – reluctantly, and the walk forever changed my life.
For
the first time in my life I realized that God wanted me and all the
baggage I was dragging along with me.
He wanted me to empty my cup of guilt and shame so he could fill
it with his love.
He again wanted me--the guy who at 15 turned his back on him, the
guy that allowed anger to control his life.
A guy that had forgotten so many of the wonderful lessons he had
learned from so many faithful servants of God. A guy that felt he has
the power to build walls to keep people out so that he would never be
hurt again.
That
weekend he took it all from me, and I know that those faithful servants
were standing next to our Lord when I gave it all to him.
I could hear them cheering and saying, “Welcome home. We have
missed you and need you.”
I very much had missed them.
After
my walk, I began meeting with a small group of men on Friday mornings at
6:00 am.
I am never late, for I know God is standing there at the altar
waiting for me and I do not want to keep him waiting. He had waited long
enough for me. I absolutely love this time at his altar. I have felt him
touching me there.
Now
as I stated, music is very important in my life. In the year 2000, three
men at our church sang one Sunday morning. I am sure they did not know
it that day, but they, too, were about to change my life forever.
A
short time after that Sunday, they asked me to sing with them.
I accepted. I am still singing with two of them--Jim and Tom--and
can never thank them enough for inviting me to be a part of their lives
and the music ministry we call GloryBound.
I love these men and how each has been a reflection of God’s
love for me.
These
two major God gifts would also be how God prepared me to face something
I could not have faced alone--the death of our son Nathan.
Nathan
was the kid that everyone tells his problems to.
But, he did not share his problems with others.
Nathan played basketball for Western Kentucky University. At the
end of his sophomore season, the coach decided that Nathan was not
performing at the level he should be, so he said he decided to get
Nathan’s attention. He released him from the team.
Jan and I were not made aware of this until after Nathan’s
death.
In
the state of Kentucky, basketball for too many of us is a God. For some
of us we worship our team, players, and coaches until new ones come
along.
For Nathan, his dream was gone, and he ended his life in a dorm
room at WKU.
Now
when I was close to Nathan’s age, music was my God.
I sometimes think that I might understand how Nathan felt.
I was also the person that everyone told his or her problems to.
But I never told anyone my problems. I kept them inside. The song
“Tears of a Clown” would make me laugh because I would think about
the people around me and how this song was probably my theme song.
I
also know the toll it can take on you when you feel you have let
everyone down and that if you were not here, this world would be better
off without you. That night for me took place at Long Run Park as a
teenager.
I took my father’s gun and put it next to my temple and pulled
the trigger.
Jan
has now become one of the major reasons the NCAA is changing how coaches
work with athletes when they are released from a team. We both are
determined to bring awareness and prevention to the number 1 killer of
college students – suicide.
Through our service as Christians, we want to help youths and
adults not to put other Gods before our Lord
I
know today that God has so much more for me to do. I am so thankful that
God never gave up on me. I will serve him and worship him. He is Lord
and I Love him!
Michelle, thank you for delivering God’s message.
Have
a Great GOD Day!
Stephen
Michael Ulrich
You can email me at
Steve@IAmGloryBound.com
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